Toastercam
by Laughter's Tears
Summary: A genius with a video camera plus a mysteriously  and repetitively  breaking toaster. No one is willing to fess up to the damage, so Don decides to take matters into his own hands to find the culprit. These are the tapes from the hidden toastercam.


__

This just a random idea that I came up with one day. I found it floating around, half-finished, on my computer and thought I'd finish it. I hope you like it, but if you don't that's okay too. I really just wrote this for fun.

Me:Hey look! A magic lamp! Hmmm... I wonder... *rubs lamp. Genie appears in cloud of purple smoke.*  
Genie: Your wish is my command!  
Me: Oh my gosh! It's a genie!  
Genie: There _are_ a few rules. I cannot kill anyone. I cannot make anyone fall in love with you. I cannot bring back the dead. And I cannot acquire for you the ownership of copyrighted or liscenced fictional characters.  
Me: Oh poop *throws lamp out the window* Well, you know what that means folks.  
Disclaimer: I don't own the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Oh, and 'feed of empty kitchen' means 'time lapse' _  


* * *

_

Don: Yes! It's working! Greetings whoever-will-wind-up-seeing-this! I am Hamato Donatello, turtle genius and builder of this compact and fully-functional video-camera. Now let's see if I can get it to-  
_Static._

_Don's face again. He looks annoyed.  
_Don: I'd forgotten all about this little thing until this morning, but I think I've finally thought up a practical use for a miniature video-camera. Well, a use besides various ninja surveillance purposes. I'm going to use it to discover which of my brothers is responsible for this.  
_Camera angle shifts and pans over the workbench. Strewn over it are the mutilated and charred remains of what used to be a toaster._  
Don: They all deny it, but it's got to be one of them. I know that it's not me. I'm going to get video evidence, concrete proof-  
_From outside the lab-  
_Leo: Hey Don! We're going for a training run! That means _all_ of us!  
_Don turns the camera back to his face._  
Don: Such is the life of a ninja-scientist. *sigh* (yells) I'm coming! Geez Leo, keep your shell on!  
_Sets camera down on workbench and walks away muttering, then hurries back and turns camera off._

_When the camera comes back on again, Don's hand is over the lens. There is some scraping and rustling as something bumps against the microphone. Donatello takes his hand away, revealing a view of the kitchen counter, partially obscured by the coffee-pot and the toaster.  
Don leans down to look in the lens.  
_Don: There. All set. I predict the new toaster won't last a week and when it breaks, I'll know who the mysterious toaster fiend is. Five hours. That's how long it took to fix this time. And I'm not counting the time I spent hunting for parts in the junkyard. That's five hours that I could have spent doing something _productive_ or _fun_. Instead I was fixing the stupid toaster _again_.  
_Raph walks into the kitchen and gives Don a weird look.  
_Raph: Who are you talking to?  
_Don jumps_  
Don: No one! Myself! What are you doing in here?  
_Raph opens the refrigerator and pulls out a can of soda, holding it up in explanation._  
Don: Oh…oh, well, I'm just putting the new toaster back. I'm done now. So I guess I'll just go. Back to the lab. To do…. stuff. See-you-later-bye!  
_Don hurries away. Raph shakes his head at Don.  
_Raph: Too much caffeine.  
_Raph looks at the soda in his hand and shakes his head._  
Raph: Nah.  
_Raph shrugs and exits kitchen, chugging soda.  
(feed of empty kitchen)  
Thirty minutes later Leo enters and throws an empty soda can into the garbage, muttering under his breath.  
_Leo: Brothers…. never….after themselves … slobs…. do everything for them?... Raph….  
_(feed of empty kitchen)  
Two hours later-  
Raph chases Mikey through kitchen.  
_Mikey: You'll never take me alive!  
Raph: I can work with that!_  
(feed of empty kitchen)  
Klunk jumps up on counter walks around for a few minutes, then sits in front of the lens.  
Fifteen minutes of Klunk grooming.  
Klunk jumps off of counter  
(feed of empty kitchen)  
Mikey enters kitchen and turns on stove. Pulls a pot out of a cupboard, fills it with water (off camera), and sets it on burner. Starts humming as he pulls a blue box out of a cupboard. Checks pot. Crosses in and out of screen several times as he assembles an assortment of vegetables just out of frame. The sound of chopping is heard.  
_Mikey: Oops.  
_Runs back to stove and pulls an envelope out of blue box, then dumps contents into now-boiling pot. Goes back and forth between stirring pot and chopping, still humming. Stops for a moment and examines contents of pot, looks at clock. Shrugs and dumps contents of envelope into pot, stirring and going back to humming. Pulls a large bowl out of a cupboard and steps out of frame. Steps back into frame and pulls pot off of stove.  
Leo enters the kitchen.  
_Leo: Hey Mike. Is dinner ready— is that 'Soul Sister'?  
_Mikey freezes.  
_Mikey: Darn it! That song is everywhere! Curse you 'Train', curse you and your catchy tunes! _shakes fist at ceiling  
Leo rolls eyes.  
_Mikey: Mac's on. You wanna grab the salad? _Pulls a large bowl from cupboard and dumps contents of pot into it. Takes bowl and exits kitchen. Leo rolls eyes, exits frame, returns with bowl of salad, and exits kitchen.  
(feed of empty kitchen)  
Don enters ten minutes later. Grabs some dishes from cupboards and silverware from drawers. Heads over to counter and pokes toaster.  
_Don: Hmm…. Still intact and functioning…. I thought that maybe Mikey…. Well, no matter. I can wait.  
_Don exits kitchen  
(feed of empty kitchen)  
Don and Raph enter with dirty dishes and begin washing them in sink off camera._  
Raph: I'll wash you dry?  
Don: Sure.  
Raph: So, what's up in the lab? Say, you got any idea where the dish-soap is?  
Don: Hmm. Over here.  
Raph: Thanks.  
Don: No prob. I'm not doing anything much. I want to update our long-distance security, or at the very least our counter-surveillance systems. Especially the ones at April's. I've been working on that with her lately. That's been what's taking up most of my time. What have you been up to?  
Raph: Nothing much. Casey's helping me build a new bike, so we've been hanging out at the scrapyards a lot.  
Don: Find anything good?  
Raph: Actually, yeah. There's a bunch of computer stuff at the one by the abandoned noodle factory... Here. Last one.  
Don: Done. So, Rockband, or Halo?  
Raph: Next bathroom duty says Halo.  
Don: You're on.  
_Mikey pokes his head into the kitchen_  
Mike: Hey guys, are you done with the dishes? Wanna play Rockband? Don, get you get the guitar fixed?  
Raph: _moans_  
Don: I fixed that last week Mikey… unless you broke it again today.  
Mike: Sweet! I'll get Leo and set it up!  
_Mikey exits shouting for Leo_  
Raph: *_grumbling*_ Why do you always win?  
Don: *_fake guru impression*_ Wise man say: know your brother, know the odds. _  
Raph and Don exit.  
(feed of empty kitchen)  
sound of loud music.  
Splinter enters kitchen and makes a cup of tea.  
_Leo: *singing. or at least, trying to sing* It's the eyyyyyye of the tiger, it's the thrill of the fiiiight! Rising up to the challenge of our liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiives!  
_Splinter winces and flattens his ears, as if to drown out the sound.  
_Splinter: *mutters* At least his life depends on how well he carries his sword, not on how well he carries a tune._  
Splinter exits kitchen, turning off the light.  
(feed of empty kitchen)  
loud music ceases.  
after several hours, the light from the living area turns off.  
(feed of dark and empty kitchen)  
Sound of Don's voice_  
Don: Well, the toaster made it through Day One. I guess I'd better change the tape and switch it to 'night mode' now while everyone else is asleep.  
_(Film cuts off- Static- Resume filming. View, in 'night-vision green' of Don's shoulder and the cabinets behind it)  
Don puts camera back in its hiding spot and exits.  
(Feed of an empty kitchen, in nightvision.)  
Klunk chases a bug across the floor, catches and eats it, then leaves.  
(Feed of an empty kitchen)  
Don shuffles into the kitchen with a coffee mug in hand and looking like he really needs sleep, not caffeine. He reaches into a cupboard and pulls out a coffee filter, then sets it on the counter. He goes to another cupboard and pulls out a Tupperware container with coffee grounds. He pours some grounds into the filter and puts the container away. Then he takes the coffee pot and fills it with water from the sink. His eyes are half closed as he sets it on the counter.  
After he has done all of this, he takes the filter full of grounds and carefully places it into the toaster, then presses down the lever. After which he takes the water, and pours it into the bread slot, careful to replace the carafe in the coffee pot when he is finished.  
__After a few minutes, Don returns to the toaster (water is in a puddle around it on the counter). By some miracle, the spring mechanism shorted in a way that it 'popped up'. Don fishes the coffee filter out and disposes of it, then poures what little water there was left into his mug. He then exits the kitchen.  
(Voices from just past the doorway of the kitchen)_  
Leo: Don? What are you still doing up? It's three AM!  
Don: *mumbles something incoherent*  
Leo: You need your sleep Donnie. Is that coffee? Put it down. You're going to bed.  
Don: *mumbles*  
Leo: You're practically asleep on your feet Don. Do you really think anything you do is going to be up to par? What if you make a mistake.  
Don:… *sigh. Mumble*  
_Voices fade.  
(feed of empty kitchen)  
Splinter enters, looks at messy toaster, raises an eyebrow, then shakes his head.  
_Splinter: I do not want to know.  
_Splinter begins making a pot of tea.  
Leo enters. He gives a weird look the puddle surrounding the toaster.  
_Leo: Good morning Sensei. Did you sle-_  
Static. End of tape.  


* * *

  
_Well, there you have it. I honestly didn't decide who had broken the toaster until I finished it today.  
Review if you like. Or not. Whatever.


End file.
